ABOUT MOI...

hmmmmm??? why the fuck do I need a page about myself again?! 

I guess, technically, I DON'T! But since I'm trying to work on my not-so-subtle/humble bragging rights in an attempt to feel better about my major insignificance on this planet, I'll give it a shot.

HERE'S THE QUICKIE VERSION

2,200+ weeks on this planet and I'm still in copious amounts of denial. I have a highly indecisive brain. I changed college majors more times than I care to admit. I've carried this over to my adulting life with numerous jobs and more failed entrepreneurial projects than success stories.

Turns out, life’s a fuck‑ton harder and weirder than my dad exaggerated it to be.

I did the entrepreneurial hustle‑porn thing and the meditate until you become a boring-as-fuck wax statue side quest - all in the name of becoming a better version of myself. Fortunately, optimization hacks quickly run into diminishing returns. The “wake up at 6am, 80/20 the shit out of everything, grind 16‑hour days so I can "relax" in an oversized mansion someday” routines eventually lose their luster.

I ENDED UP GENUINELY HATING IT & OBSESSING ABOUT IT AT THE SAME TIME! 

What I know now:

• I’m only satisfied by work that usually takes an absurd amount of time to complete
• I don’t actually want a perfectly optimized, frictionless life
• I want something ridiculous, romantic, explorative, occasionally hyper‑inefficient, and most importantly, fully me

I realistically can't pull 16 hour days if I want to be a responsible full-fledged adult hairy guy (which I sort of forced myself into needing to) but I don't want to try pulling off a 10 hours per week cracked up hyper-efficient lifestyle either. 

That was the quickie version. Here’s the "too fucking long, don't bother reading" version.

Wake Up Call #Uno

Long before I was writing kids’ songs or roasting institutional control (publicly), I was doing what you’re “supposed” to do. You know, super-dee-duper-dee grown up important shit like:

• Studying business and political science at university
• Working in the bowels of hell (aka finance & insurance)
• Trying to build an MLM fitness business I sure as fuck should have never started in the first place
• Checking all the “good patriotic, responsible, religiously devoted guy” boxes

I spoke Portuguese from living in Brazil, Spanish from working as a church volunteer leader. I earned a master's degree from a top 250 global university. I was loaded with plenty of evidence that I was “on track" for a kick-ass "American Dream" kinda life.

Then, out of nowhere, in my early 30's, I was diagnosed with cancer.

I found myself thinking (way the hell too much), “If I died tomorrow, would I be ecstatic about the life I lived and the legacy I left?”

The answer was indubitably un-fucking-comfortable!

That crisis didn’t turn me into a bio‑hacking monk or an indie rock god (though I did occasionally consider both options). It did something far more annoying and useful:

IT WOKE ME THE FUCK UP FROM AN AUTOPILOT, HIGHLY CONTROLLED LIFE.

My First Legit Media Biz

After that, I stopped trying to force the wrong businesses and built something I fully owned and could take 100% responsibility for:

First up, a kids’ educational media brand that didn't completely suck (I thought most of them did).

I built the brand as a one‑man studio:

• I recorded the voice-overs
• Wrote and produced the music
• (Poorly) Animated the videos
• Managed the whole thing from scratch

Over 7 years, that little experiment grew to:

• 250,000+ subscribers

• 80 million+ views

I eventually grew to hate the whole operation. I burnt myself out. I grew as an individual and moved closer to being my true self, which no longer aligned with educating children across the world online. So I sold most of it.

On paper, that’s the “dream” story: build something from nothing, exit, receive a big-ass congrats, big fucking deal... but it wasn't a anywhere close to making worrying about money obsolete.

That brand wasn’t the art and expression I’d wanted to make since I was a teenager. It was the thing I did instead of going all‑in on my actual dreams.

The Art I Kept Avoiding

Since adolescence I’d wanted to make:

• Raw, personal music
• Comedy (in all its experimental glory)
• Dark & absurd shit about how bizarre life and society really are

But every time I got close to giving myself permission, life intervened:

• College
• Friends
• Dating
• Religion
• Money
• The oh-so-shitty “real world”
• Everyone’s opinions on what was “smart” and “responsible”

I let it pull me away from art and creativity, over and over again. The worst kind of broken record.

After I sold the kids’ channel, I finally launched my personal brand the way I’d always wanted: social commentary, comedy songs, the stuff that actually felt like me.

Then I did what a lot of people do (and what I promised I'd never do):

I got extremely BURNT OUT and BORED AS FUCK.

I stopped creating. I never built a sustainable long‑term strategy around it. I learned the harshest fucking lesson of all with media content creation: Regardless of the topic, the tone, the posting schedule, dream career or not:

AS A SOLOPRENEUR, IT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL THE SAME PAIN-IN-THE-ASS, BRUTAL-AS-FUCK GRIND!

Leaving the Script (Again & Again)

In parallel with all of this, I was:

• Working towards escaping a life-long religion that was controlling me rather than building me up
• Learning languages & traveling to 25+ countries
• Leaving the US for Europe with my family to find a life that actually felt aligned with my personal beliefs and life design goals
• Building and maintaining a healthy physique over ~15 years of consistent effort

Surprisingly, I escaped one “correct” script (a W-2 career + religion + geography)
only to accidentally build another one:

The low‑leverage, high‑effort, algorithm‑dependent content treadmill (that left virtually no time for actual living)!

Only this time, I sort of chose my journey up front rather than being born into it. I was working absurd hours as a solopreneur, releasing music and comedy into platforms that paid peanuts (or worse).

Not surprisingly, it wasn't sustainable.

While finding myself in yet another entrepreneurial existential crisis, I managed to rack up 3 concussions within 6 months (2 while at the gym). My MRI, doctor, and therapist all told me I'm fine. My conscience sort of still disagrees with them.

Wake Up Call #Zwei: Art vs. Leverage

That recovery time forced me to admit some highly uncomfortable truths I didn’t want to admit or accept:

• My entertainment dreams needed a dramatic update

• My path to financial freedom had gone from hopeful to a deep-seated shameful shit-show

• I kept trapping myself in the “feed the algorithm” machine with no beefy monetization levers

• I’d never actually learned how to build a kick-ass community from scratch

• Aside from a few sporadic wins, I sucked ass at systematically outsourcing to buy back my life

Having way the fuck too much time to stew turned my brain into an "always strategizing, never executing" cluster-fuck.

The Ai media landscape sure as hell didn't help either. That existential crisis required some serious research, meditation, acceptance, and a strategic overhaul. In reality, it probably didn't need most of this, but my brain loves a pointless-as-fuck dramatic side-quest.

I’d escaped most of the old traps and somehow managed to trap myself again in indecision and half‑built projects.

That’s the “wake-up call” you’re catching me in now.

What I’m Doing Differently this Time

This is me finally committing to me, myself, and I. If it all goes down the way I'd like, I will:

• Create the art and commentary I actually want to make
• Accept that high‑leverage isn't "selling out" and even if it is, I don't give a fuck what others think, right?!
• Build an artistic business that supports my life, instead of consuming it
• Attempt to pull it off in 25 to 35 hours a week (not 80+) so I can still explore, travel the world, focus on my health, create shit outside my main work, learn languages, chill with my family, squeeze in some gaming, and randomly ask strangers to give me all their credit cards and mustard

A WORK IN PROGRESS

I'm going for entertainment without the crazy hours, without the shitty content treadmill, and with no apologies for doing things however the fuck I feel like

It will either work beautifully, live in the mushy middle somewhere, or fail spectacularly, but I'm sure as fuck going all-in on a more balanced existence regardless.

I realize this far in, that most of my bio sounds like me ramping up towards selling you something (maybe I should fix that????).... so, go ahead and click the button below this next paragraph and see what magical internet wizardry happens!!!!!

Life's painfully fucking short and I'm attempting to pay down my regret taxes one fucking week at a time.